Ode to Two Pee Em
- by Nicholas James deVaron Lerangis, with postproduction by The Bellwethers of Newport, editorial work by the staff of the New York Dimes Magazine, namely Yvette-Ellin Randle and Torb Jejlyn. Art direction by Art Mahoney, fonts by diBraaca, certain content advisory by Phan Handel, and encouragement by my lovely wife, Gertie. A small word of thanks to Mehew Scipio Hernandez de la Torres, my publisher at Hormones n’ Wax Press.
Now, after I’ve walked around at lunchtime,
Now, when the farts begin to seep
I’m a hundred miles from crunch-time,
I’m a nod away from sleep.
The bosses all are flatulent,
The fax machine is mum,
I’m lulled along to dreamland
by my CPU’s mild hum.
Is this forever? Am I dead?
Will five o’clock just drag its heels
Or will it come on sched?
I know, I know. That rhyme totally blew
And that line fucked the meter.
Here I sit, and sadly near
The Awful Office Bleater.
“UH HUH HA HUH,” She gurgles up.
“I SHUDDA BRUNG LUNCH TODAY
AN I FUGGOT MY CAWFEE CUP,”
she loudly starts to bray.
Madam, will you please, for the sake of my brain,
not talk so loudly here?
My efforts to work are rendered in vain
And your presence smells like beer.
Oh, two-oh-clock, my nemesis,
you’re worse than Tim Pawlenty.
And look! Oh joy! By writing this,
I’ve lived to see two-twenty!
(c) Nicholas Lerangis
- Nick Lerangis appears courtesy of Briar Iron Records, LLC, and Uvinersal Music Group, Inc.
